I think it's time we wind down....

.....sort of. My love affair with these Christian Louboutin Turquoise Ron Rons is just as strong as my love for the Alligator Biancas, except for these Ron Rons come in Barbie pink (I'm a sucker for Barbie pink footwear. Barbie anything, actually. I never did the whole "growing up" thing.), turquoise, and the basic black (which isn't sparkly, which I find VERY disappointing actually). Not to mention, they cost less then a television, which the alligator Biancas most definitely do not. I can't decide between the pink and the turquoise for which color I'd rather die over. I'm thinking pink, because I'm me, but I think the turquoise is slightly more practical. I'd probably be a pile of utter happiness if these came in purple. But they don't, so I'll just be a pile of fairly decent happiness over the two. Buy in black suede or pink or turquoise glitter for $565 via Barney's.

*Drool*

I want these. I'm going to excuse the fact that they are a million inches high (over 6"!!!), a million dollars and completely impractical. Not to mention that I'd look like Bambi with my little stick legs in these. I WANT them. These Bianca Alligator Pumps come in ice blue or ruby red, but the ice blue is definitely a win on my end. If you asked me to, I could sit here all day making excuses to justify exactly how much I need these shoes, but in the end, we all know what they are. You buy them, never wear them and lock them in your closet in the box and dustbag. And occasionally, take them out and pet them. They are not to be worn, they are shoe art. And you don't wear art.

Purchase for $5,495 via Bergdorfs (I envy you.)

What On Earth Is A Delfin?!?!

I need the Christian Louboutin Delfins. Crazy name aside (delfin means dolphin... French, I think?), I can't begin to describe my adoration for these adorable mini-wedges. (Is that even a legitimate shoe term?) The tomato red will pop against the summer tan we're all striving for, but if the color scares you, there's an elegant beige and a slightly dull black. The low wedge ensures that you will be able to run all around New York City from one department store to another (in a perfect world that is. Running after children is probably more accurate) without killing your feet. I can attest that these are as wonderfully comfy as they look, I tried them on in a tiny little boutique in Montreal once and they were... a few sizes too small. They werea 5.5, I wear an 8. You do the math... I think I cried. Anyway, I need these, in the appropriate size. Like NEED NEED NEED. Available for $395 at Saks. But, if I know CL ladies, it's all about height. Ifyou can't wear anything under three inches, there is also a higher wedge option in slightly more hideous colors. (Only slightly.) Available in black, silver and a color called beige that is most definitely not beige for $475 via Saks. And for the true aficionados, there is also a platform version, available only in the interesting shade of beige for $475 via Saks as well.

Why Are You Wearing a Squirrel Strapped to Your Ankle?

I never thought I would come to a point in my life where I would have the wonderful opportunity to compare designer footwear and the things I see on the side of the road. Lucky me, that chance has come with the Christian Louboutin Toundra Coyote-Fur Trimmed Suede Ankle Boots. You heard me. Coyote ankle boots. I mean, I guess I could see some uber chic celeb rocking these with skinny jeans or something, but every time I look at them, all I see is a squirrel wearing a belt. Two belts actually. They aren't furry enough to be ski-bunny chic and they aren't really out there enough to be amazingly avant-garde and gorgeous and drool-worthy. They're just kind of weird and hairy. If you're going to get a pair of unattractive hairy boots, just get UGGs. They're more practical, plus no one will judge you for wearing them. Black patent version available for $2,095 at Neiman Marcus and beige suede version available for $2,095 at Saks Fifth Avenue.

If you really want the complete look, the matching handbag is available for $3,945 at Neiman Marcus