We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming...

...to bring you the Louboutin Manicure. I read about this somewhere and thought, wow, that's weird in a really cool way. If you're really into the idea, I see a whole shoe/nails coordination thing going. You wear your black Pigalles, you paint your nails black. You wear your blue glitter Ron Rons, you paint your nails blue with sparkles. Now I'm actually really tempted to do this... when I actually own a pair of Louboutins.

Happy sigh face...

My darling Christian Louboutin, I take back everything I've ever said. The Christian Louboutin Fifi 100 Satin Lace Pumps are so gorgeous, I want to buy them, put them on a podium and just sit there drooling. Now for the practical aspects of these babies. The heels aren't too high, so you can walk without doing the Bambi. The lace can be dressed up or down and will go with everything. Plus, they aren't really THAT expensive. They totally are, but I'm kind of immune to shoe sticker shock. Now golf club sticker shock... that's freaky.

Buy for $725 via Net-A-Porter

"Oh dang it, the paint splattered..."

What a gorgeous shoe. Too bad someone spilled blue paint all over them. To be honest, these shoes would be gorgeous without the blue dots. These would be much better in a different color combination, I'm thinking navy blue with white polka dots. Go nautical chic. Instead of "I wore my new shoes while they were painting the basement" non-chic.

Buy for $995 through Bergdorf Goodman.

The shoe for every season...

So I can wear the Christian Louboutin Deroba Flannel Wedge Espadrilles with my wool coat AND my bikini? BARGAIN! Okay, let's look at these objectively. They are grey flannel - fall material. Rope - summer material. Peeptoe - spring... concept. Unnecessary zipper - adorable, not sure what season this belongs it. But it's kind of cute. I could definitely see these wedges (are they wedges? What are they?) redeeming themselves. If they were all flannel, sans the peeptoe, I would be all over these. But the combination of all the different materials just confuses me.

Buy for $595 via Saks.

"Honey, where's my shopping bag?"

Does anyone remember those mesh grocery bags that people used to carry? You know, before the nylon-y things got all trendy and cool and eco-chic. Well, someone's got dyed brown and made into the Christian Louboutin Coussin. Again, ankle booties - in. Caged booties - used to be in. So, current trend + out of date non-trend = Yuck Boots. These booties have one redeeming feature, the chestnut-y color is DIVINE. If that color was on a smooshy leather handbag, I would probably hug it and snuggle it and get a lot of weird stares. But that's a topic for another blog. My complaint is that that weaving looks very painful unless it's done PERFECTLY. If it's done perfectly, comfort heaven. If they aren't, hello painful blisters. I would also not recommend wearing these for too long in the sun - imagine the tan lines.

Buy for $1,595 via Barney's.

Phew. Now I have something to wear with my school uniform...

Can I clarify something? Just because you throw a bunch of trendy, quirky ideas together, does not always mean you will come out with a trendy quirky idea. The Christian Louboutin Miss Amelie Pump is a prime example. It's a good idea in theory, but it wasn't well-executed. And yes, I know I watch too much Project Runway. In theory, leopard print, a loafer shape and a cute little chain seems like it would make a really good idea. In my opinion, these would be about a million times cuter if they weren't a slingback. If they had a classic, chunky, loafer shape with a thick (high - it is a Christian Louboutin shoe) heel, these would be much more attractive. Good idea, still needs some work. I do adore the dyed calf hair though.

Buy for $1,125 via Neiman's.

LBS. Little Black Shoes.

While my beloved CL makes some pretty out there pumps, the classic pumps are gorgeous in their own way. The Christian Louboutin Pigalle 120 are a good example of one of his most iconic pumps. The five inch heel isn't exactly good news for the heel virgins, but trust me, it just takes a little practice (this is coming from the girl who does chores in 3-inch Ferragamos). But if you're really afraid, there's a lower-heeled option in a similar style for the same price. The Pigalle is my favorite black pump that I've seen, even more than some of his peeptoes (I don't adore peeptoed shoes. It's kinda weird.) The cut will look good on a wide variety of feet, the heels will make your legs look FAB and the black goes with everything.

Buy via Net-A-Porter for $595

No. Double No. Triple No. Just, No.

As you can probably tell, I don't really care for the Christian Louboutin Fred Flat. I don't know why my man in Paris decided that a brand known for gorgeous sexy heels should TOTALLY make oxfords. If anyone figures this out, please call me. I'm confused. First of all, these don't even lace up properly. So they look like poseur oxfords that some trend slave would wear. They don't seem classic or quirky. They're kind of...sad. Second of all, these have a very mannish shape. I understand that these are menswear-inspired, but I can't imagine these actually looking good on a woman's foot. If these were better cut, I could accept them, but as they are, they fall flat of a good idea.

Buy for $595 via Barney's.

".... the bootie's alluring curves"

Really ridiculous description aside, I adore the Christian Louboutin Leopard-Print Lace-Up Bootie. The piping and the laces are cool, but manage not to look sneaker-y, which is definitely a plus. The leopard print is well-done, making the boots look chic and on trend, instead of something a... naughty lady.... would wear. These booties are cute and trendy, but won't look dated in a few years which is definitely a plus. Buy for $1,795 via Bergdorf's.

Finally found the boots to go with my lumberjack shirt.

Um. Wow. Apparently there are shoes worse then the Christian Louboutin Toundra Coyote-Fur Suede Ankle Boots. These are definitely them. The Christian Louboutin Marzuka Fur Suede Boots kind of look like a Timberland boot threw up a squirrel. I don't mean that in a good way. Listen CL. This squirrel fur thing HAS to stop. This is the second pair of these... things... that I've seen, and frankly, that's two too many. So, let's make a deal. You make gorgeous shoes again, and I forget these things ever existed... deal? Good.

Buy for $1,695 via Saks.

Ummm....

Is it really wrong of me to want the Christian Louboutin Ambertina Bejweled Sandal? Don't remind me that they cost over 1K or that they aren't practical. I KNOW. None of those things make me want these any less... Multicolored crystals cover the back of the six inch heel and gold leather and hot pink satin straps cover the front. I can't imagine these going with anything, but hell, I would make them work. I'd say more, but I don't want to get drool on my computer. If you are VERY LUCKY buy for $2,395 via Neiman Marcus.

Come on, let's get hitched!

Come on somebody, marry me. I found the most perfect wedding shoes in the world, and I want to wear them THIS INSTANT. (This is a FANTASY okay?) Let's just have a moment of silence for the beauty that is the Christian Louboutin Bow-Topped Slingback.......

That wasn't long enough. Longer. These are that gorgeous. They also come in white and black satin, but I was drawn to this gorgeous cream. I'm a sucker for colors like this. I can see this working with jeans and a great button-down or a casual sundress. Or they could also work with a gorgeous evening dress in winter or summer. I'm overjustifying these because I want them that much. Not to mention that the slingback guarantees that these will fit my skis, AKA my 8 super slim feet.

Buy for $735 via Berdorfs.

Coming soon, to a theater near you....

..... ATTACK OF THE KILLER WEDGE! Seriously, imagine what would happen to your poor defenseless foot if you dared wear this evil wedge? Your feet would get eaten alive. Talk about horror movie. Humor aside, let's talk about these shoes. First of all, whoever thought a black wedge was a good idea isn't all that smart. A wedge is a light and flirty summer shoe that you wear with jeans or an adorable summer dress and, I don't know, drink lemonade at a sidewalk cafe. I can't imagine these looking cute with jeans OR a summer dress, so what are you supposed to wear them with? Second, I don't know how to explain the fact that the rope sides rise up, trying to form some pseudo shoe. (It's not working) It just looks ridiculous, and not even in a remotely cool way. They aren't cool enough to be described as interesting. FUG all the way here.

Buy for $535 via Barneys (why you'd want to is beyond me)

I'm making the ew face.

The Christian Louboutin Misfit Ruffle Sandals are weird. Not in a "wow isn't that hot and weird and kind of chic?" way. In a "why is that shoe vomiting fabric?" way. And in the fashion world, fashion vom isn't that attractive. There's so much going on, I don't even know where to begin. There's the random bunch of fabric that resembles a black suede hankie belted to the front. Is this in case the shoe develops a cold? There's the stud/holepunch things, I don't even know what to call them. If they were the main focus of the thing, I could kind of get where these are going, but they currently look like they were stuck on as an afterthought and a nod to the stud trend. A weird half nod. And there's the back and sides of the shoe, or lack thereof. It's like wearing an ascot with a backless dress. Same function served. I just can't explain these shoes. Buy for $1,395 via Neiman Marcus.

I'm a little confused.

Don't these Christian Louboutin Anna Strass Patent Leather Sandals kind of look like something Jimmy Choo might do? I mean, it's a fairly basic evening shoe. And by basic, I mean BORING. This isn't a very exciting shoe, and the sad part is that Christian Louboutin didn't even bother to make it more exciting. At least the good folks at Jimmy Choo added some black sequins for a nice subtle shine. Christian Louboutin added some strass for a typical tacky evening shoe. I won't even include a picture, they're that dull. I kind of don't know what to say about either of these. The CLs have a higher heel and price tag and the Jimmy Choos have some slightly tacky sequins going on.

Buy the CLs through Saks for $595 and buy the Jimmy Choos for $465 through Jimmy Choo online

I'm going to quote Tim Gunn.

I just don't see it. The Christian Louboutin Big Lips 120 Calf Hair Pumps disappoint me. I know everyone else is all ZOMG SIX INCHES ZOMG SEXINESS but I just don't see it. The color is nice, but I was never a fan of hairy footwear. I mean, one strand of fur gets out of place and the pattern is off. It just doesn't work. Plus, the heel kind of scares me. It's not red, which entirely defeats the purpose of being a Christian Louboutin shoes. Second of all, they look really awkward on. Look at some feet pictures on Net a Porter and you'll see what I mean. They just aren't a flattering shoe in the way that other CLs are. And the heel looks like weaponry. Not in a Chanel, "oh look at us, we're going to be so clever and have a small gun as the heel of our shoe, isn't that darling" way, but in an actual "these could be used for self-defense" way. That may be helpful, but if you can't do the whole walking thing in your shoes, then maybe they aren't serving their basic purpose.

Buy through Net-A-Porter for $995

Trust me on this one......

Since you need, you know, clothing, in your daily life (unless you live in a nudist colony of course) to go with those amazing CLs, why not check out:

http://lauren-laurensfashion.blogspot.com/

Its run by my fabulously fashionable friend, and her blog is filled with divine outfits for every event!